'WHAT IS THE BARBARIAN WAY OF LIFE ?'

My dear friend loaned me a book called, 'The Barbarian Way'. She loaned it to me because she said that I needed to read it. What she meant was, there was something in that book that reminded her of me.

I have always wondered why I was different. I was edgy, a forerunner for the things of God, different from the rest of the pack - a bit of an innovator. I was not afraid to take risks when I knew God was calling me to do something that was 'out of the norm.' My problem all these years was, I could never understand why everyone else wasn't willing to live their lives on the edge - in the 'HOT' zone instead of the 'LUKEWARM' zone. How can you say you love the Lord with all of your heart and not be willing to 'go where He says go - or do what He says do?'

Here is how you do just that. You 'sign up' for the Army of God and then you start asking God to show you more. The closer you choose to get to the Lord, the closer you are to discovering the hidden treasures of the Kingdom of Heaven - right here on earth! Is that edgy or what ?? You better believe it!! And for me and people like myself, there isn't any other way. Just like the Army as we know it here on earth - there are many rankings but they still serve the same purpose. And that is the same in God's army. We are all at different levels (or rankings) but we as 'the body of Christ' should be working together towards the same goal - to bring people to the Lord so they too can start learning how to trust the Lord with all their strength, all their soul and all their mind. For some - that is a hard place to go to because you have to give up pretty much all that you have come to know. It's basically giving up what is earthly thinking and getting back so much more - but we don't know until we do it how much more God wants to give us. Obedience is greater than sacrifice!

I will continue with more facts in just a moment - but first I wanted you to know that I will be quoting some good stuff out of the book, 'The Barbarian Way' - as well as adding my thoughts to what I have read and gone through. Enjoy.

To begin with, let me give you a bit of history.

Christianity over the past two thousand years has moved from a tribe of renegades to a religion of conformists. To claim that we believe - is simply not enough. The call of Jesus is one that demands action. Jesus began His public ministry with a simple invitation: "Come, follow Me." His closing instructions to His disciples can be summarized in one word, "GO!" You would think the church of today thought Jesus said, "Come and listen" - with His closing mandate summarized in the one word, "NO!" What has happened? Where did faith stop? Where are the real barbarians?

We are called to an unconventional war using only the weapons of hope, faith and love. Nevertheless, this war is no less dangerous than any war ever fought. And for those of us who embrace the cause of Christ, the cost to participate in the mission of God is nothing less than everything we are and everything we have. And 'everything' means just that - EVERYTHING. You have to know that you were 'bought with a price and you no longer belong to yourself'. That is hard to grasp in the flesh - unless you have surrendered completely to the Spirit of God to use you for His glory - and basically, for the purpose you were created for.

It was over thirty years ago that Jesus stood in-front of me and did battle over my soul against the enemy, one September evening back in 1975. I was not knowledgeable of who Jesus really was or why He would have any interest in someone like me. My past was not the cleanest but all of that didn't matter to the God of the Universe who purposed my very being. He didn't look at the outside, (and neither should anyone else). He looked at the heart - something that mortal man tends to overlook. He knew long before I knew that I could handle anything that He put before me - because He knew that I would trust Him with EVERYTHING and STAND firm in my FAITH.

Over the years I haven't met very many who were edgy like myself who had a 'barbarian' spirit in serving the Lord. Perhaps the tragedy of our time is that such an overwhelming number of people who declared Jesus as their Lord - have become domesticated - or civilized. Somewhere in there - they lost the simplicity of their early 'risky' faith. And beyond that - lost the passion and power of that raw, untamed 'primal' faith. But I have no doubt that there are many out there who are waiting just like myself to meet up with each other for what God has created us to be and do. I believe that God has a time for such a meeting and until then we continue to keep the faith and wait!

The 'barbarian way' is a path of both spirit and truth. The soul of the barbarian is made alive by the presence of Jesus and their way can be found only by listening to the voice of the Spirit. "He that has ears, let him hear what the Spirit is saying to the church". John the Baptist was our forerunner - our example as to the boldness that we must continue to have within us. Jesus was God in the flesh proclaiming the miracles, signs and wonders that would follow those who believe. (Mark 16:15-18). You either believe the Word of God (all of it) or you don't!! I do!

I make no excuses for why God made me like I am. I have finally learned to 'walk in it' and so what if I'm different - I'm different because I refuse to walk in the ways of this world any more. I believe that there is a 'time-a-comin' that all the 'barbarians' will rise up to defeat the enemy but for now we haven't been given the order to 'CHARGE'!! But we know our Shepherd's voice and we follow it! Lord, open up our ears to hear your voice!

When Jesus walked among us - the invasion of barbarians began. And just as it was with those who crossed paths with Him here on earth, those who claim to be religious will be most offended and indignant. Go figure! Barbarians are not welcome among the civilized and are feared among the domesticated. The way of Jesus is far too savage for their sensibilities.

You see, times of war require barbarians who are willing to risk life itself for the freedom of others to advance the Kingdom of God and to 'hold ground'. Barbarians are driven away during times of peace - they only disrupt our communities and make us uneasy with their way of thinking and testimonies of spiritual happenings. Sound familiar??? Sounds like someone is reading my mail!!! But it's only in the most desperate of times, times of war or conflict - that these 'outcasts' - these 'barbarians' are welcomed to return so they can lead the troops to victory. You don't need us now - but there will come a day that you will !!

Christianity has become our Shawshank, and our redemption will only come if we find the courage to escape the prison we have created for ourselves. Jesus is being lost in the very religion that bears His name - and how sad is that? Christianity has become docile, domesticated, and civilized. We have forgotten that there is a kingdom of darkness that is stealing the hopes, dreams and souls of humanity without God. But most Christian's have chosen 'comfort' over 'boldness'. FOR SHAME!!!!

Let me explain the refined and civilized - 'dangerous' - invitation that the church is selling today. It goes something like this: Jesus died and rose from the dead so you can live a life of endless comfort, security, and indulgence. Or maybe more like: if you'll confess your sins and believe in Jesus, you will be saved from the torment of eternal hell-fire, then go to heaven when you die. Both cases result in our 'domestication of Christianity'. One holds out for life to begin in eternity and the other makes a mockery out of life!

The call of Jesus is far more barbaric than either one of those. The 'good news' is - it could never be separated from the invitation of Jesus to "COME - FOLLOW ME". He never lied about the danger or cost associated with becoming His follower. He told them up front: "I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves" (Matthew 10:16).

We are beginning to live as 'shrewd as doves' and we have become 'innocent as snakes'! Totally the opposite of what Jesus warned us about! For far too long, sincere followers of Christ have had to live with the consequences of those who use religion to manipulate others and camouflage hypocrisy. Does that sound like some of the churches today?

By spending time with Him you learn what is good and what is not! What is right and what is wrong! When to do battle and when to stand! Have you ever wondered why someone would enlist during war time? What kind of person would do that - put their life on the line for others to live in freedom? Our answer is usually - 'you go head-on - but as for me, I'll stay over here where it's safe and enjoy the good life in my comfort!' We have all been called to fight but there are those who just won't fight - or take on the challenge. The 'Barbarian' is called to whatever he is told to do by God without question - knowing who he/she serves.

And don't think that we are some 'mindless drones'. We are always 'battle ready' and are always thinking of ways to protect those around us through prayer and intercession. For you see, we are in the biggest battle of our lives. The enemy - the devil - Satan - what ever you want to call him - is after our souls and he is hoping to keep us in fear so we don't pursue anything that God has for us. His job is to keep us from pursuing God. And don't get the word 'fear' mixed up. There is Fear as in being scared - and there is fear that is good fear - like the 'Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom'. All 'fear' is not created equal.

When you hear the call, and when you follow the call, you must recognize that it is a 'life-and-death' proposition. This is not a cattle call ! He is not calling you to the same life as every other follower. Your life is unique before God and your path is yours and yours alone. This is where 'faith' and 'trust' come in. He leads, you follow - and you trust with all of your heart that He has your best interest at heart - ALL THE TIME !!! So, Christianity as a civilized religion claims that everyone gets the same package - NOT SO ! Many think that if you know God - you will become rich, be comfortable, be secure, and be safe, but few realize that 'faith is a risky business'. As great as the men and women of faith in the bible were - God has far deeper and more profound works to do in and through us. We must learn from their examples and recognize that their lives were 'spring boards' for ours. Stepping stones to the next level of where God wants us to go. We don't need to know what all that looks like - all we need to do is understand His call on our lives and chose it willingly. The safest place to be is in the 'Will of God' and that should be enough!

Let's take Paul's life. He knew exactly who Jesus was and the life to which he had been called. Paul had been a 'religion-ist' - (BC) - 'before Christ walked into his life'. He had learned the art of condemning others while hiding behind his pompous self-righteousness - (which by the way is one of the greatest dangers of religion!) Like Paul, we too must find the 'barbarian way' out of civilization and be transformed by the living presence of God Himself.

I wonder how many of us have lost our 'barbarian ways' and have become embittered with God, confused in our faith because God didn't come through for us the way we thought He should have or on OUR time schedule? Is it possible that the transforming power of the church has been lost because we keep inviting people to stop into the comfort, safety and security of Jesus Christ? Jesus didn't teach or live like that. He taught by example and just like Jesus, we too will be misunderstood, hated, and judged by the 'religious people' for being different.

The barbarians are the people of the earth who know they are called to be like John the Baptist. Not afraid of being different because they are on a mission for the Lord. We should also know how to survive in the wild. We understand that whoever walks in front - walks closest to death, but this still won't slow us down. A world without God cannot wait for us to choose the safe path - 'we are forerunners' - 'raindrops' - 'leaders of the pack'. We are risk takers for the kingdom of God and by the Will of God. We look to God and God alone to lead us where He needs us most and where we can accomplish the most good for His glory. It's not about us!!! It's all about HIM !!!

If Jesus would not avoid the 'place of the skull, then we should not be surprised where He might lead us. In those moments when we cry out, 'Not my will, but Yours', you may not find many who will stand by you who will provide you comfort and strength. Strangely enough, you may find far too many trying to reason with you that God would never require that much of anyone. Yet even with all the noise pounding inside your head, you will still clearly hear the voice of God and His 'barbarian' call if you listen carefully enough.

I stand - no longer as a Christian because Christianity has been diluted. But I stand as a 'follower of Jesus Christ' and it is no longer my will but His will for my life that leads me. There is no turning back!

God created us so that our lives would count - not so that we could count the days of our lives!

Carol Doswell
03/05/2009

*exerts of this post were taken from 'The Barbarian Way' by Erwin Raphael McManus

' WE ARE HIDDEN IN HIS QUIVER '

God is so very good in so many ways. As I mentioned in my last post - God always sends someone to 'give you a word in season' when He is guiding you towards your destiny. Below I want to share with you something that God put on my heart to write about. I also gathered some facts from another writer by the name of Paulette Reed. So you will be reading a combination of our writings and thoughts. Enjoy!!

God's Voice

Don't you love the way Jesus speaks to us in thousands of different ways? Truly, He is omnipresent! He is in a cloud the size of a man's hand, and in the face of child. He is in the noisy marketplace, and He is the still small voice amidst an earthquake.

God's Counsel

Recently, the Holy Spirit kept whispering counsel, "Stay hidden in the quiver." We must stand in awe as we search out God's word, as His life-giving treasure flows into jars of clay. Isn't it amazing that whatever we pour ourselves into pours into us and then out to others? Beloved, whatever we worship becomes a part of us.

The Word says, "He made me into a polished arrow and concealed me in his quiver" (Isaiah 49:2).

A quiver, of course, is "a case or sheath for carrying arrows," a part of the ordinary equipment of the warrior, both foot soldier and charioteer (Job 39:23; Isaiah 22:6), and of the huntsman (Genesis 27:3). We also find passages where children (Psalms 127:5), or prophets of Yahweh (Isaiah 49:2), are spoken of as arrows. Arrows are called, "sons of the quiver" (Lamentations 3:13).

God's Warriors

Friends, as warriors for our Commander in Chief, arrows of the Lord, we must learn to "stay hidden in the quiver," only to be released directly at a bull's-eye when God's mighty right hand sends us. It seems I keep hearing people say, "God has had me hidden for a long time." It's as if we're waiting for God to rip off a cover and say, "Ta da, here she is, or here he is!"

Truly, I do understand what they're saying, but just think what would really happen if God removed His covering. Yes, he does call and then commission. But, He may only "send us out" for an hour to share about Jesus on the street, or forty-five minutes to be a peacemaker, or three days to attend a conference. After all, it really doesn't take very long for an arrow to accomplish its purpose.

God's Weapons

The sheath is the rendering of the Hebrew "teli," which means "a suspended weapon," literally "that which hangs from one," i.e. is suspended from the shoulder or waist. Kind of sounds like a branch hanging from the vine doesn't it? What an honorable position, a suspended weapon hanging from the pierced side of Christ, released only by His Spirit.

God's Timing

Sometimes I watch people send themselves, aggressively pushing open doors. Inside I feel sadness for them, having witnessed this before. In my heart, I know the doors they pushed open will only remain so temporarily, and then God will have to close them. Sometimes He must protect us from ourselves. His timing is perfect; He must have all things in Divine alignment before sending His "arrows." Granted, it takes years for God to work His patience within us, but oh, dear friends, what a wonderful Divine exchange takes place through those years. James sums it up so well. "Knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing" (James 1:3, 4).

Sometimes I watch people send themselves, aggressively pushing open doors. Inside I feel sadness for them, having witnessed this before. In my heart, I know the doors they pushed open will only remain so temporarily, and then God will have to close them. Sometimes He must protect us from ourselves.

God's Motivation

When "arrows" are sent by the hand of God, we can rest assured that He is our reward (Isaiah 52:12 KJV). He uses the dead enemies of our past as ammunition to catapult us, shooting life into the body of Christ.

Once we learn not to make the same mistakes again, and again, God releases us more frequently into a season of soaring. He also promises to be our vanguard. How marvelous is that? He's not only the power behind His arrows; He is also the dunamis going before us.

Friends, don't grow weary for, "Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint (Isaiah 40:31). Listen, the longer you wait the stronger you get!

God's Mysteries

In conclusion, there are two kingdom mysteries revealed here by the Holy Spirit. First, we aren't finished waiting until we no longer strive to wait, but simply abide by Jesus' side. We must be as the Lord, un-hasting and un-resting.

He is always at work in our lives although sometimes it is so subtle we do not perceive it. We must always be prepared, in and out of season. Even when we can't see the whole target, we know, by faith, each arrow is making a difference, perhaps preparing the way for someone else, or piercing the darkness.

God's Purposes

Second, we won't come out of hiding until it no longer matters to us if we do. We must realize it's crucial to always remain hidden in the quiver, in Christ, for a lifetime. Our Heavenly Father hides those He loves and if arrows don't stay hidden/protected, they can become damaged, beaten up, dull and incapable of hitting the bull's-eye.

[God] made my mouth like a sharpened sword, in the shadow of his hand he hid me; he made me into a polished arrow and concealed me in his quiver" (Isaiah 49:2).

Lord Jesus, as the battle intensifies I submit myself to Your mighty hand today. May I be a swift arrow of light to the world as the darkness increases. I thank you that I lack nothing as you release me, only in accordance with your Divine timing.

May I be sharp and accurate, even in what may seem like your small assignments. I pray that each flight be filled with love as not to be blunt or useless. Help me remember that grandiose targets are no good if they are not accomplished, if they are not Your will.

Teach me to take pleasure in staying hidden in Your quiver all the days of my life, so that You, My King, may be glorified. Help me to not fight my own battles but only the ones you send me into - for the 'victory' is yours!

Carol Doswell - Ministryofmentoring@kc.rr.com

' THE CHILD WITHIN '

Praise the Lord - We arrived here in Kansas City on Jan.3rd around 12:30am after driving almost 20+ hours. It was an experience that I will never forget! And I do mean that in a good way!

Everything our hands have touched or our feet have walked, has been blessed of the Lord. I have never in my life walked in such favor before, but it's about time that I learn to! After-all, we are 'KINGS KIDS' and we should walk with the authority that has been given us - just knowing who our 'DADDY' really is.

I have been telling people for several years to walk in the God given authority that was given to us when Jesus went down to hell and took back the 'KEYS' to our very identity in Him. He did that so we could walk in victory and in His image.

For many years I have prayed to be in a place in Him that I could 'hear what He hears' and 'see what He sees'. I haven't asked for anything else. I want more than anything to experience more of 'heaven on earth' in this life. I know that someday when I'm there, it will be as if nothing changed. I want to walk from 'knowing Him here' to 'knowing Him there', without skipping a beat.

I has been awesome how the Lord has allowed me to stay at home now and put my time to a different use. I want to share with you a poem that I wrote sometime last week when we had a heavy snowfall.

Let me set the stage for you.
It was sometime in the early 1980's that I last remember seeing snow. We didn't really have that much snow back in Texas, but I remember when snow covered the ground for several days and left as fast as it came. But the point was - it did snow!

Since arriving here in KC, we have had several major snow storms in the past few weeks. The temperature has been as low as '-6' and as high as '+62', so it has been different - to say the least!

One night last week I watched as snow flakes started falling on the green grass outside. The previous snow had fallen before we arrived and was starting to melt. I felt like I was 5 years old again as my nose was pressed to the window and my breath fogged the glass. I sat on the end of the bed in the bedroom where the golden street lights put me in a trance as the snow was being 'spot-lighted' like ballet dancers on a stage. I watched as the snow fell and everything seemed to stop except for the falling snow.

Then all of a sudden I felt God telling me to write down what He was bringing up inside of me. I went and got a pen and pad and began writing this poem - Enjoy!

'THE CHILD WITHIN'

I don't understand it, but I'll try to begin -
What is this feeling, could it be 'the child within'?

Why have I waited so long -
To be in this place of such peace and calm?

As I stare out the window and as the snow comes down -
I listen to a train in the distance as it goes through town.

What is it about the fresh falling snow, that takes you back in time-
To a place when things were simple and poems didn't have to rhyme.

The snow looks like diamonds falling from Heaven above
Covering the Earth like a blanket of Love.

I marveled at how the flakes dance under the light -
And pray that God would give me some deeper insight.

The 'place in Him' is where I just want to flee -
The place where I can be 'Who God created me to be'.

That place where my life and talents give Him glory -
Where even the simple things in life tell a story.

Like how God revealed Himself to me in the falling snow -
So that even my 'child like faith' would know.

That His Presence is with me, if I just look about -
He's there in the silence, there has never been any doubt.

I love this time where it's just 'Me and Him' -
Where He talks - I listen, and my focus isn't dim.

"FORGET NOT MY BENEFITS", I heard Him say to me -
How can I when this is the place in Him I have prayed to be.

To 'hear what He hears' and 'see what He sees' -
To let my heart open up to Him with such ease.

It's my prayer - you see - to be like Him -
But the only way to get there - is to find
'THE CHILD WITHIN'

By CAROL DOSWELL
JANUARY 29, 2008

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My prayer is that you allow yourself to become as a child. Get quiet before Him and 'LISTEN'. Whatever you are going through, God alreay knows and He is waiting for you to 'rest in Him'.

I know you say, 'How can I do this'? It's a place you have to 'make yourself' and 'allow yourself' at the same time to go. This place is where the 'peace' you are looking for is - get alone with Him now.

" Be still and know that I am God "

CAROL - wife, grandmother, and encourager

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO EMAIL ME ANYTIME WITH YOUR COMMENTS ABOUT MY POSTS AT: Ministryofmentoring@hotmail.com I AM ALWAYS AVAILABLE TO PRAY WITH YOU AND ENCOURAGE YOU IN WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH. BLESSINGS, CAROL
MAY 1, 2009

ARE YOU A THREAT TO HELL HERE ON EARTH?

One day the evil spirit answered them, "Jesus I know, and I know about Paul, but who are you?" - Acts 19:15

Are you a threat to the kingdom of darkness? If satan and his demons had a board meeting and your name came before the board, what would they say? Would they say that you are one of their most feared enemies and they needed to keep many demons harassing and opposing you? Or would they say, "Gentlemen, this person poses no threat to our activities. Leave him alone. He needs no help from us." There are millions of church-going believers sitting in pews Sunday after Sunday who pose little threat to the kingdom of darkness. If we truly believe that we war against rulers and principalities that cannot be seen, then we must realize that their mandate is to hinder any believer who is seeking to walk in the fullness of God. However, "greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world" (1 Jn. 4:4b KJV).If you are seeking to fully follow the Lord, you can expect harassment from the enemy. God permits temptation because it drives us deeper into the soil of God. These times reveal God's power to keep us and walk us through the temptations. Our message becomes fruitful when it is born out of obedience and suffering for His name. Do not consider it strange if you find yourself fighting major battles the more obedient you become to the Master. God desires each of us to become a feared enemy of hell in order to affect satan's domain. When you begin to feel harassed, chances are you are beginning to affect the kingdom of darkness, and satan doesn't like this. So, how many demons do you think are assigned to you?

Back in the 70's when I came into the knowledge of Jesus Christ - there was a pastor/preacher by the name of R.W. Shambach who was on the radio. He was a powerhouse preacher and told it the way it was - or the way we needed to hear the gospel preached. He got my attention! One thing that he used to say that still to this day stands out in my mind was - 'PRAISE GOD, THE DEVIL KNOWS WHO I AM'.

I thought that was a bit bold but then again, I understood where he was coming from. My conversion wasn't a simple sweet prayer for Jesus to come into my life - NO, in fact it was a war taken place on before my eyes and over my soul. You will need to go to one of the first stories I wrote - "The Woman At The Well, Maybe You Know Her" and read the story as to how I came to know Jesus. Jesus stood in front of me and satan was behind me and I was in the middle. Jesus won over the works of the enemy in my life as He commanded me to read the 23 Psalm through to the end. I had started to read it but with all that was going on, I was being distracted. And that is just what the enemy does to us today. If he can cause us to get off course then we aren't focused on what God is doing in our life's.

Jesus woke me up 4 nights in a row at 1:11am in the morning. I was brought into my salvation through war-fare and ever since my spiritual life has been about being a WARRIOR and recognizing the works of the enemy. I too get distracted but for the most, God shows me what to pray against. I have learned not to pick my own battles. God does however keep me on my toes and on my knees. I have learned to 'see it for what it is' and take it to the Lord in prayer. I can't fight alone so I call upon my Savior - Jesus to work through me to defeat the enemy. He will show you what spirits are at work so you can pray against them. You will begin to recognize them as time goes by. Remember, recognizing them is one thing, but to destroying them is God's work!! And always keep in mind, ' We fight not against flesh and blood but against spirits and principalities and rulers of darkness in high places'. It's not the person - it's the spirit they allowed to rule them. And yes, even Christians entertain spirits they shouldn't.

I know most of us wonder why attacks come our way when we are seeking the Lord with a pure heart. Consider when you are being attacked to be the 'red flag' that you are on the right course! It's when things are going smooth is when you should be wondering what is wrong! That is when you aren't being a 'Threat to Hell'.

It wasn't a coincidence that I was drawn to what R.W. Shambach said. God was calling me as well to go forth with the same boldness and faith. You will probably see that when you read some of my stories. But in this story I want to get back to the subject of the article at the beginning. ARE YOU A THREAT TO HELL HERE ON EARTH ? If you aren't then you need to ask yourself - 'WHY NOT'??? We haven't been given the spirit of FEAR - but LOVE, POWER . So where are all the warriors for the Kingdom?? It's hard to get most Christians on their feet to go up front during worship. People, that is where you will find the victory against the enemy. Praise and worship are the biggest weapons (besides prayer) that you have, and still most of us are worried what other people will think of us. You need to picture satan over in the corner laughing at you because he has you where he wants you - not praising your God! That is one of the first steps towards becoming bold - start stepping out.

There are some Christians who are 'out there' - with their beliefs and who aren't afraid to be bold for the Lord - while others are expecting the blessings without a fight. What did the scripture say, 'Greater is He who is in us, than he who is in the world'. Who are you more afraid of, God or satan? And how many demons are assigned to you? My answer would be, 'TEN THOUSAND MORE ANGELS' !!! I'm not in this fight alone and that is just what the enemy wants you to think. He is the one powerless when it comes to the power and protection we have in Jesus. Jesus said, 'Greater works shall you do', and that comes with knowing who you are in Christ. The more you put on Jesus the more you will be attacked. But that would stand to reason that the more you have Jesus, and the more you stand in Him, He will do the fighting for you. You have a choice to be sucked into what the enemy is doing or to call upon the Name of Jesus to come against the works of the enemy.


For the most part we haven't been unleashed yet! We are still being trained by God for when the time has fully come. By that I mean - we are still learning to totally surrender our emotions and feelings over to the Lord instead of allowing the enemy to stir up those insecurities within us. A good example of recognizing the attacks is what just happened the other day to my husband and I. There were several things that started going wrong. My daughter called me and pretty much wanted to argue about something that I thought was taken care of. Before that we started arguing about something that was said and then the dryer knob broke off the dryer and the start switch went on the blink. My husband looked at me and said, 'We've been here before', and we both got on our knees and prayed for the Lord to come in and deal with the enemy and his destruction against us. That is the clue, to recognize when the enemy is trying to destroy you or the things around you. It must mean that you are doing something right - not wrong!

Many are called, but few are chosen! I believe that means the ones who aren't afraid to walk in boldness with the Power they have been given will be allowed to 'See God' and be shown the hidden secrets of the Kingdom of God.
Not all will be bold enough to call out the demon spirits in people, and there are a few of us out there who aren't be taken serious yet. We have to move forth in our callings and 'lead from the front' and hope that the others will get it.

I want to be a 'THREAT TO HELL HERE ON EARTH' - and you should too. Ask the Lord to give you the boldness you need to become a warrior for the Kingdom of God. Step out of the 'comfort' box you have been in and trust God that He has your back. Become a fore-runner for this time we are living in. Experience life at it's best.

It's not being a 'THREAT TO HELL' that scares me!!!

SETTING THE PRISONERS AND CAPTIVES FREE !

When Jesus came to this earth to destroy the works of the devil, He laid aside His authority as God. On earth as the 'Last Adam', He walked and ministered with authority and dominion. Satan was completely defeated by Jesus. He was brought to naught and made of no effect. Jesus made a big "zero" out of the devil !

Now this authority and dominion are the 'keys' which have been restored to redeemed mankind who, through faith, are now His church and His body on earth. As a defeated foe, the only thing that satan can do on this earth is what we in our ignorance have been letting him do. With this revelation from God's Word, we can rise up and bind satan. When we bind the strong man and spoil his house and when we command demon spirits to flee in the name of Jesus, we are walking in the 'power and authority' that we were given. Matt. 12:28-29, 2 Corin. 10:4

The church, which Jesus said He would build has been a ‘SLEEPING GIANT’. Now, it is awakening to operate in it's God-given authority and it will demolish the strongholds of satan !

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As I awoke this morning, March 15, 2007- still lying in bed between asleep and awake, I began praying and asking God to reveal to me something new today. It was as if He was just waiting for me to ASK !

Our pastor said the same thing this past Sunday. He was talking about when Moses said unto God, '.... If your presence doesn't go with me and your people then we will not go ', Exodus 33: 12-17.

God was just waiting for Moses to ask Him to go. I then asked Him, 'God, I don't want to go unless you go with me'. God is waiting for all of us to ‘ASK’ Him to go with us as we step out in faith and speak with authority against the enemy! We have been given the 'KEYS' - doesn't that mean something to you?

Jesus walked into Hell with authority and took back the keys that satan stole from man in the garden of Eden. Ever since then, they have belonged to us but we haven't yet begun to use the power and authority they really hold. Until now!

So as I hovered between being awake and asleep, I was asking God to go with me to a place I had never gone before. It's like He was saying - ' What would you like today my child?' I asked the Holy Spirit to let me – discover the hidden treasures that would reveal to me what the 'KEYS' really meant. I wanted new Kingdom revelation and for Heaven to invade my soul in a new and fresh way, and that is just what I got!

'KEYS' have been coming into my husband's and my life since Kris Vallotton spoke a prophetic word into our lives last May. I never collected 'keys' before, nor did I have a passion to, but 'keys' were being given to us left and right. I have since been on a quest before God to find out what all this means. I wanted to know the purpose and plan for the 'keys' and what 'gates' they were to open.

Allow me to continue to share with you the treasures He let me find. Fasten your seatbelts!

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Through out the Old Testament, worship had always centered around the tabernacle, the synagogue or the temple. There was 'no church' as we now know it today. There were three things which we need to learn about the church from this first time Jesus mentioned it.
1) The church would be built by Jesus on the revelation from the Father that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the living God.
2) The gates of Hell would not be able to hold out against the church.
3) The church would be given the 'keys' of the Kingdom of Heaven and have the power of binding and loosing. Matt. 16:13-19

Peter knew by a revelation from God that Jesus was the Christ, the Son of God. This was the truth upon which the church was to be built! Matt. 16:18 The first characteristic of the church is that Jesus would build it. It would not be built by men's traditions or programs. The second characteristic is that the gates of hell would not overcome it.
(Amplified Bible:) - I will build my church, and the gates of Hades (the powers of the infernal region) shall not overpower it - or be strong to its detriment, or hold out against it.
And the third characteristic was that of 'binding and loosing'.

So just what are the 'keys' and what 'gates' do they open ?
The 'keys' refer to the authority we have been given on this earth. The 'keys' can either lock or unlock the 'gates'. The gates are another word for the governments or any entity whether it be a person, a family, an organization, a city, a state or a nation. Genesis 1:26

These 'keys' were intended by God to be used for good on this earth. However, when Adam and Eve sinned, they surrendered the 'keys' to satan who had come to steal, kill and destroy that which God had created. The 'keys' of authority under the control of satan became the 'keys' of death and Hell. These were the same 'keys' of authority which Jesus snatched away from the devil after He had delivered our sins to the depths of Hell.

When Jesus came smashing victoriously through the gates of Hell, He took these 'keys' of authority away from satan. Satan no longer has any legal authority on this earth in the believer. And since these 'keys' were restored to their original owners on this earth, they were no longer to be misused as the 'keys' of death and destruction. Instead they became known as the 'keys' of the Kingdom of Heaven.

So as we, the body of Christ, use our God-given 'keys of authority' according to His will, we are establishing the Kingdom of Heaven on this earth. It is very important to understand what Jesus meant when He said that the gates of Hell would not overcome the church. In our natural way of thinking we picture a gate as something that is attached to a fence or a wall. With a picture like that in our mind, it is hard to gain any real understanding of the verse - '... and the gates of Hell shall not prevail against it'. Matt. 16:18b
Since most of us have never been attacked by a gate!

In biblical times, the government and business of a city was usually conducted at the 'gates'. The gates provided security of a walled city, and also became a reference to a city or nation's government. Proverbs 31:23
When God blessed Abraham, He referred to it as 'possessing the gates' of his enemies. It was a blessing. Genesis 22:17
A blessing was also placed upon Rebekah and was referred to as 'possessing the gates' of the enemies. Genesis 24:60
To possess the 'gates' of the enemy it means to take over and control it’s government. We are also considered to be gates where we allow what comes in and goes out.
Today we are to possess the 'gates' of our enemies in the spirit realm by taking authority and dominion with aggressiveness, and to conduct violent spiritual warfare as the 'gates' are back and - taken by force!

King Solomon spoke of this: Proverbs 14:19 ' ... The evil will bow before the good, and the wicked at the gates of the righteous. ' So why do we cower inside the gates (inside ourselves) in anxious fear? It is the church, not satan who should be taking the offence! We, the church should be storming the gates of hell and forcibly advancing the Kingdom of God in our churches and throughout our city, our state, our nation, our world, our families and in our very own lives.

We already have the 'keys'! It’s our God given ‘rights of authority’ to speak up against the enemy and take back what he is stealing from us. We have the authority to bind satan and his demons and we have the 'keys' of authority to loose all the captives!
So, church – what are you waiting for?

When we win the battle in the realm of the spirit it will be manifest in the natural. And as believers we must exercise our authority and dominion on earth. We must now accomplish and enforce on earth what has already been accomplished in the rest of the universe - what is an established fact in heaven. It’s time church to wake up and be bold about who you are and who God made you to be and start walking in the authority God sent His Son to give us.

Now, go set the prisoners and captives free - including yourselves! In the Name of Jesus!

TWO BOYS AND A GIRL

I told you that I was going to deal with everything I went through in my life, as the Lord led me to write about it. Sometimes we do things that we know is against our better judgment, but because of our selfishness, we do them anyway.


It was back in 1980 I was answering the phones for our late night telecast for our church. I was real close to giving birth to my daughter so it must have been sometime in early March or April. My son was 11 years old, yeah, quit a difference of age between children but at least they both got my total attention, and they both had a lost of 'one on one'. They both had two different dads so that was the reason for why there was so many years between them.

Even though I was about to give birth, I still enjoyed being on the other end of those desperate phone calls that would come in. Some were prank calls but for the most they were hurting people in need of a miracle. I can recall praying with several who were about to kill themselves. Now that was a challenge to turn them around. And others were needing peace and comfort while going through a trial or pray for a lost loved one. I'll never forget praying with one girl who had so much guilt weighing on her from an 'abortion' that she had recently. I did my best to pray with her and I asked God to comfort her, but I didn't know what she was really feeling deep down inside.

I was pregnant and I just couldn't see how anyone could abort a life that was growing inside of them. I was a prayer warrior and I did a lot of intercessory prayer and I have prayed for just about everything out there, but for some reason I couldn't understand the pain that was in women who were going through this. I remember asking God to help me feel their pain so I could relate better to them.

Well, I had my baby girl in July of 1980; twenty-six years ago now. Matter of fact her birthday is six days, July 13th. Well all went well with the home birth. Yeah, three mid-wives and another nine or ten family members who were there to watch the show. It was amazing, several women were praying in tongues while she was being born. What an experience! She was a beautiful baby girl. An eight pound girl at that, who grew up into a beautiful young woman who now has three beautiful children of her own. Where did those years go??

She was almost three years old when her dad and I divorced. My oldest son lived with Charity and me at the time but he was getting into drugs and hanging out with some of his shady friends. He moved out because he didn't want to live under my rules and so we were all like 'scattered sheep' going our own ways. I was a single parent but I hated being single! I wanted to be with someone who wanted to settle down and be a family, a normal family, whatever 'normal' is?? It just wasn't happening for me!

I didn't drink but I loved to go out and dance on the weekends. My daughter spent the weekend with either her dad and his girlfriend or she would go to a sleep over at one of my girlfriend's house's. (We would trade out babysitting so we could go out.) One night while at a local dance club I met a guy, Tim. If you've read any of my other stories you would probably guess right if - I went home with him or - he went home with me. It was all about 'one night stands' then. I lived a dangerous life of sex, drugs and rock-n-roll. If it was good sex, we stayed together, if not, 'SEE YA - NEXT!!' Looking back I can't imagine that I thought like that! So me and this guy ended up moving in together and stayed together for several years until one day he cheated on me with some girl from his work. I found out and told him to get out! I wasn't going to stay with someone who disrespected me like that. I guess I had the cart before the horse since I was living in sin and expecting to get respect! But none the less, if you cheat on me, you're gone!! Several weeks later I found out that I was pregnant! But I wasn't letting him back in for any reason!

I already had one son who was out there on the streets somewhere doing his own thing and a daughter, now six years old whom I wasn't getting child support for. I knew that there was 'no way' I was going to stay with any guy, not after they cheated on me. So I decided that I was going to get an 'abortion' and wipe out any memory of him in my life. I couldn't see raising yet another child alone without any help, so I took the easy way out. At least that's what I thought I was doing. It wasn't until after it was over that God reminded me about that time just several years earlier and how I had asked Him to help me to understand how that woman felt. I guess I should watch what I pray for!

I couldn't believe the guilt and shame that haunted me day and night from what I had done. How could I have done something that I was so against? I was a Christian - well at part-time Christian - but none-the-less, a Christian. Part of me was glad that I wasn't going to bring another child into this world without a dad around and part of me was sad because I love children so much and I really do believe in 'pro-life'. I just knew that after knowing God like I had known Him, He would never love me again. I felt so lost.

I asked the doctor after the abortion was over if it was a boy or a girl. He told me that the baby was a boy!

It took me a very long time to talk about it to anyone, except God. I had beat myself up with guilt asking God to forgive me for what I had done until one day a women asked me a very simple question - "How many children do you have?" I answered her back and for the first time ever I said, "TWO BOYS AND A GIRL". I added, "I have three children, two live here on earth with me and one lives in heaven with Jesus. It wasn't until I spoke those words that I felt God's love and mercy and I knew that I had truly been forgiven! I stopped being selfish and admitted I had made a bad judgment and there was FREEDOM knowing I was walking in the truth for a change.

I know what it feels like and if I could undo any part of my life, it would be that part. I had 'no right' to be so selfish to make a call like that. My son who lives in heaven would be close to twenty years old now and I have asked God let me know him someday - up there! I can't express to you enough to lay your hurt and pain at the feet of Jesus, what ever it is. There really isn't anyone else who will understand your pain. And if your heart hasn't been broken yet - then it needs to be broken before God! Un-bury those hurts and ask God to let 'His Light' shine on those hidden places that you have tucked away that no one knows about.

I'm not asking you to be as bold as I am about it, but over time you have allowed a 'scab' to cover that wound and it never really healed like it needed to. You aren't hiding anything from God - He knows everything! But you are keeping yourself from experiencing total forgiveness and God's mercy and love which surpasses the guilt you have been carrying around for all those years. I know you don't feel worthy of God's love and mercy, but none of us really are worthy or ever will be, so just get past the excuses! Freedom and forgiveness only come when you know that God's Spirit has been allowed to go into those dark places. And since Satan is the 'accuser of the brethren', we don't need to leave anything un-exposed to the light - ANYTHING !!

Just ask God to forgive you - and really pull it up from down deep in your gut, really mean it and allow God to do surgery on you and take out anything that doesn't belong there. He will bathe you in His mercy and love. If you need help doing that, email me and I will pray with you. Get healed so you can go help someone else - that is what 'MINISTRY' is all about! Now go and help someone else be set - 'FREE' - In Jesus Name.
Ministryofmentoring@hotmail.com

'I AM THE WOMAN AT THE WELL'

TESTIMONIES ARE GIVEN TO THE ONES WHO CAN HOLD THEIR HEADS UP HIGH AND TEACH OTHERS FROM THEIR EXPERIENCES.

MY TESTIMONY BEGAN IN THE YEAR 1973 WHEN I WAS 22 YEARS OLD, A DIVORCED MOTHER OF A SON, WHO WAS THEN FOUR YEARS OLD. I WANTED SO MUCH FOR SOMEONE TO LOVE ME AND WHO WOULD BE FAITHFUL TO JUST ME. IT WASN’T IN MY NATURE TO CHEAT NOR WAS IT IN ME TO STAY WITH SOMEONE WHO WAS A CHEATER.

I HAD WONDERFUL PARENTS GROWING UP. BOTH OF THEM WERE MARINES DURING WWII WHO LOVED EACH OTHER AND LOVED THEIR CHILDREN. I AM ONE OF FEW CHILDREN WHO GREW UP IN WHAT I COULD CALL "A PERFECT HOME". MY PARENTS DIDN’T FIGHT, THEY DIDN’T DRINK OR DO DRUGS, NOR DID ANY OF US 'THREE' CHILDREN. MY MOTHER WAS A HOUSEWIFE WHILE MY DAD WORKED TO SUPPORT A FAMILY OF FIVE. NO ONE COULD HAVE ASKED FOR BETTER PARENTS. I GREW UP THINKING THAT LIFE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE JUST LIKE THAT. MARRIED TO ONE PERSON, A NICE HOUSE WITH THE WHITE PICKED FENCE, TWO OR THREE CHILDREN AND NO WANTS OR NEEDS. PERFECT, JUST LIKE MY PARENTS.

AT 16 YEARS OLD AND A JUNIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL WAS WHEN I BEGAN DATING. THINGS STARTED GETTING SERIOUS BETWEEN EDDIE AND I - MY HIGH SCHOOL BOYFRIEND. HE WAS A FOOTBALL PLAYER AND I WAS A CHEERLEADER AT ANOTHER SCHOOL. I WAS AT THE TOP OF MY GAME, HEAD CHEERLEADER, ALL SCHOOL WITTIEST, CLASS FAVORITE, CLASS REPORTER, EVEN EARNED MY OWN HIGH SCHOOL LETTER JACKET THREE YEARS IN A ROW FOR HOLDING THE TITLE OF "NO. 1" GIRLS - SINGLES VARSITY TENNIS PLAYER FOR OUR HIGH SCHOOL TENNIS TEAM.

AT AGE 14 I STARTED GOING TO BEAUTY SCHOOL DURING THE SUMMER AND FINISHED A YEAR AND A HALF LATER WHEN I WAS 16. A LOT HAPPENED DURING THOSE FEW SUMMER MONTHS OF 1968. IN JULY I PASSED MY STATE EXAM FOR COSMETOLOGY, GOT MY DRIVERS LICENSE, STARTED WORKING IN A BEAUTY SALON AND FOUND OUT THAT I WAS SEVERAL MONTHS PREGNANT. I’LL NEVER FORGET THE LOOK ON MY PARENTS FACES WHEN I TOLD THEM THAT I WAS GOING TO HAVE A BABY. THEY TRIED TO MAKE ME HAVE AN ABORTION BUT I WANTED NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT. THAT MOMENT IN TIME CHANGED ALL OF OUR LIVES FOREVER.

HAVING GIVEN YOU SOME HISTORY I WANT TO FAST FORWARD MY LIFE TO THE YEAR 1975. BY THEN I HAD MARRIED AND DIVORCED MY FIRST BOYFRIEND/HUSBAND, THE FATHER OF MY FIRST CHILD, TWICE, ALONG WITH THREE DIFFERENT OTHER MARRIAGES. I WAS NOW 24 YEARS OLD AND THE OWNER OF MY OWN STYLING SALON IN A HIGH RISE BUILDING DOWNTOWN AUSTIN, TEXAS. MY THEN NEW BOYFRIEND AND I WERE LIVING TOGETHER. MARRIED LIFE WAS FOR ME BUT NOT FOR THE GUYS I WAS CHOOSING. I GUESS YOU COULD SAY I WAS ATTRACTED TO THE "BAD BOYS", BUT I WAS A NURTURING SOUL AND KNEW THAT I COULD FIX THEM! RIGHT !!! WE ALL KNOW HOW THAT ENDS!!

BY NOW I WAS INTO LIVING LIFE IN THE FAST LANE. FEELING LIKE I WAS IN ONE SENSE A 'LOOSER' AND ON THE OTHER HAND I WAS A 'SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS OWNER', I TURNED TO DRUGS TO EASE THE PAIN OF LIVING IN BOTH WORLDS. I STARTED SNORTING COCAINE AND SPEED TO KEEP UP WITH THE FAST PACED LIFE I WAS LIVING AND SMOKING DOPE TO BRING ME DOWN. UPPERS DURING THE DAY AND DOWNERS IN THE EVENING, OR WAS IT THE OTHER WAY AROUND???? BUT I HAD IT ALL UNDER CONTROL!! I OWNED MY OWN BUSINESS AND PEOPLE COULDN’T TELL THAT I WAS HIGH MOST OF THE TIME SO WHAT WAS THE HARM?

AT THE SALON I HAD A SHAMPOO LADY WORKING FOR ME BY THE NAME OF WILMA. ONE DAY SHE INVITED ME TO AN OUTDOOR REVIVAL THAT WAS GOING ON AT HER SMALL 'BLACK BAPTIST' CHURCH JUST OFF OF EAST 16TH STREET. SHE HAD NOTICED ME READING A POCKET "NEW TESTAMENT" DURING SOME DOWN TIME IN THE SALON. I DON'T KNOW WHY I PICKED IT UP, I JUST GOT CAUGHT UP IN JESUS TURNING THE WATER INTO WINE, AND SO ON. THE WORD OF GOD BEGAN TO COME ALIVE, IN MY SOUL AND I TRIED TO SHARE WHAT I WAS READING WITH SOME OF THE GIRLS THAT WORKED FOR ME. EACH STORY JUMPED OUT OFF THE PAGE AND INTO ME. I FOUND MYSELF WANTING BUSINESS TO SLOW DOWN JUST SO I COULD READ MORE. MY SISTER WORKED FOR ME AT THE SALON AND SHE DIDN’T UNDERSTAND WHY I WOULD GET SO EXCITED ABOUT HOW WATER TURNED INTO WINE, OR HOW JESUS WOULD JUST PASS BY A CROWD AND PEOPLE WERE HEALED. WELL, I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND EITHER BUT THE STORIES KEPT PULLING ME IN. THEY THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY BUT I KNEW THAT SOMETHING WAS GOING ON. SO, BY THE TIME I WENT TO THE OUT-DOOR REVIVAL, MY HEART WAS READY. IT DIDN'T TAKE MUCH FOR ME TO RUN TO THE ALTAR WHEN THEY GAVE THE ALTAR CALL. I TOOK MY THEN "LIVE IN BOYFRIEND" WITH ME THAT NIGHT AND THE SAME THING HAPPEN TO HIM. WE BOTH GAVE OUR HEARTS TO THE LORD, AT THE LITTLE BAPTIST CHURCH ON EAST 16TH STREET IN A PARKING LOT REVIVAL ON A BEAUTIFUL SEPTEMBER EVENING IN 1975. THE JOY THAT FLOODED MY SOUL WAS OVER-WHELMING.

FOR THE NEXT THREE NIGHTS IN A ROW, I FOUND MYSELF WAKING UP - LOOKING OVER AT THE CLOCK - AND THEN GETTING UP TO GET A GLASS OF WATER, GO TO THE RESTROOM AND THEN BACK TO BED TO GET A FEW MORE HOURS OF SLEEP BEFORE HAVING TO GET UP AND START MY DAY. IT WAS THE SECOND NIGHT THAT I REALIZED I HAD WOKE UP AT THE SAME TIME THE NIGHT BEFORE, 1:11AM. THE THIRD NIGHT WAS THE SAME, 1:11AM. BY THEN I WAS FEELING THAT SOMEONE OR SOMETHING WAS TRYING TO GET MY ATTENTION, AND THE FEELING WAS SCARY YET EXCITING. COULD IT BE GOD DOING THIS? I REMEMBER GOING TO WORK THE ON THE FOURTH MORNING AND WHILE I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF GIVING A HAIRCUT, GOD SPOKE TO ME AND I SPOKE TO HIM, WHILE NEVER MISSING A STROKE OF THE SCISSORS, IT WAS LIKE I WAS HAVING AN OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. I WAS CUTTING HAIR BUT I WAS PLANNING A DATE WITH GOD FOR THAT NIGHT AT 1:11AM AGAIN. I WAS TELLING GOD THAT IF IT WAS REALLY HIM, TO COME BACK THAT NIGHT AT THE SAME TIME, 1:11AM. I WAS PLANNING THE ROBE I WAS GOING TO WEAR AFTER GETTING UP OUT OF BED, AND WHAT WOULD TAKE PLACE AFTER THAT. IT PLAYED OUT LIKE A MOVIE FOR WHAT SEEMED TO BE SEVERAL MINUTES DEALING WITH WHAT I WOULD DO STEP BY STEP AFTER GETTING UP OUT OF BED. I WANTED TO PROVE THIS WAS ALL MY IMAGINATION, AT THE SAME TIME IT WAS LIKE I WAS BEING LURED IN LIKE A RABBIT GOING INTO A CAGE TO GET THE CARROT. SO MY PLAN WAS TO OUT-WIT GOD AND STAY AWAKE UNTIL 1:11AM CAME AND WENT, THEN I WOULD KNOW THAT IT WASN’T HIM. I GUESS YOU COULD SAY I WAS DISCERNING BEFORE I KNEW WHAT DISCERNING WAS. I STAYED AWAKE UP TO WHAT I REMEMBER AS BEING REALLY CLOSE TO 1:00AM. I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHEN MY HEAD HIT THE PILLOW OR WHEN MY EYES SHUT. ALL I KNOW IS THAT GOD PUT ME TO SLEEP AND GOD WOKE ME UP AT 1:11AM - ON THE DOT AS THOUGH I HAD BEEN ASLEEP FOR HOURS!! MY BOYFRIEND HAD ALREADY GONE TO SLEEP, I DIDN'T TELL HIM WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH ME AND MY SO CALLED - DATE WITH GOD. HE WOULD HAVE THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY AND PROBABLY WOULD HAVE LEFT ME, AND I DIDN’T WANT TO BE ALONE AGAIN. REALLY, WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD BELIEVE ME, YOU ARE PROBABLY WONDERING YOURSELF RIGHT NOW???

AS MY EYES OPENED UP I LOOKED OVER AT THE CLOCK – AND IT SAID, 1:11AM, SO I KNEW RIGHT THEN WHAT I HAD TO DO! I HAD TO DO JUST WHAT I HAD TOLD GOD I WOULD DO. I WAS SO-O-O-O-O SCARED BUT BEING A PERSON OF MY WORD, GOD KNEW THAT I WOULD FOLLOW THROUGH WITH WHAT WE HAD TALKED ABOUT EARLIER THAT DAY. I WAS ABOUT TO MEET THE GOD OF THE UNIVERSE FACE TO FACE! SURELY MY FRIGHT WOULD KILL ME AND THEN NO ONE WOULD KNOW WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO ME BECAUSE I HADN’T TOLD ANYONE ABOUT WHAT WAS GOING ON, NO ONE. SO I GOT UP OUT OF BED, WENT TO MY CLOSET AND IN THE DARK GRABBED THE ROBE I HAD ENVISIONED I WOULD WARE. THAT SCARED ME! MY NEXT STEP WAS TO GO TO THE FRONT DOOR AND OPEN IT. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT OR WHO I WAS GOING TO SEE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR. I WAS SO FRIGHTENED, BUT I KNEW THAT THERE WAS NO BACKING OUT NOW. I REACHED FOR THE DOOR KNOB AND BEGAN TO TURN IT SLOWLY AS I WAS SHAKING, LIKE I WAS SNEAKING UP ON GOD OR SOMETHING. I WAS SHOCKED TO SEE THAT NO ONE WAS THERE! SO I WENT OUTSIDE AND SAT ON THE FIRST OF THREE STEPS THAT LED DOWN TO THE PARKING LOT OF MY FOUR-PLEX. I LOOKED AROUND IN THE SILENCE OF THE EVENING, NOT A CLOUD IN THE SKY, IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL SEPTEMBER EVENING. I WASN’T DEAD, I MADE IT PAST OPENING THE FRONT DOOR SO I THOUGHT THAT A GOOD THING TO DO WAS TO PRAY, BUT I DIDN’T KNOW HOW. I PUT MY HANDS TOGETHER LIKE A CHILD WOULD DO - THAT WAS A GOOD PLACE TO START!

I REMEMBER MY HEART BEGAN TALKING TO GOD WITH FEAR AND EXCITEMENT AT THE SAME TIME. I WAS THANKING HIM FOR NOT LETTING ME DIE OF HEART FAILURE BY SEEING HIM STANDING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR WHEN I OPENED IT. ALL AT ONCE I HEARD A NOISE - LIKE A MIGHTY RUSHING WIND COMING FROM BEHIND ME THROUGH THE TREES. TO SAY THE LEAST, I FROZE! I COULDN'T TURN AROUND - AND DIDN'T REALLY WANT TO. I KNEW THAT I WAS GOING TO BE LIKE DOROTHY IN THE 'WIZARD OF OZ'. I WOULD GET TAKEN UP AND LAND IN ANOTHER STATE BY THE FORCE OF THE WIND THAT I HEARD. IT SOUNDED LIKE A TORNADO, A REALLY BIG ONE, BUT THERE WASN’T A CLOUD IN THE SKY, WHERE WAS THIS WIND COMING FROM?? ALL I COULD DO IS HOLD MY HANDS TOGETHER EVEN TIGHTER. THIS WIND BLEW RIGHT THROUGH ME! I HEARD A VOICE IN THE WIND, THAT SAID, "PEACE - BE STILL". ONCE AGAIN I COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT HAD JUST HAPPENED! ALL I COULD THINK TO DO WAS TO GET UP, GO INSIDE AND OPEN THE BIBLE THAT SAT ON MY COFFEE TABLE, YOU KNOW – THE PLACE WHERE MOST PEOPLE KEEP A BIBLE! LOL!! I FELT LIKE READING SOMETHING, BUT WHAT???? I HAD NO IDEA WHERE TO BEGIN – I HAD JUST READ A LITTLE BIT OUT OF A NEW TESTAMENT POCKET BIBLE, BUT WHERE DO YOU START??? THE ONLY SCRIPTURE I KNEW OF WAS PSALM 23. MOM WOULD TELL ME THAT DURING THE WAR WHEN SHE WAS FRIGHTENED SHE WOULD TURN TO THIS SCRIPTURE THAT WOULD GIVE HER COMFORT. SO I TURNED TO THE MIDDLE OF THE BIBLE, (AT LEAST THAT WAS WHERE SHE SAID IT WAS) AND BEGAN READING IT. THE WINDOWS OF MY LIVING-ROOM WALL FACED THE PARKING LOT. MY SOFA SAT JUST UNDER THE WINDOWS SILLS. FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE WINDOWS TO THE GROUND OUT SIDE PARKING LOT IT WAS ABOUT SEVEN OR EIGHT FEET DOWN, SO NO ONE COULD STAND AT THE WINDOW AND SEE IN, EVEN A SEVEN FOOT MAN.

AS I BEGAN TO READ THE 23RD PSALM, I HEARD SNARLING AND SCRATCHING SOUNDS ON THE SCREENS JUST ABOVE MY HEAD. I HAD NEVER HEARD ANYTHING LIKE THAT – EVER BEFORE! IT WAS AN EVIL AND SCARY SOUND, I COULDN'T MOVE! I COULDN’T BELIEVE WHAT WAS HAPPENING, THINGS JUST KEPT GETTING STRANGER AND STRANGER. I WAS AFRAID THAT WHAT EVER WAS OUT THERE WAS ABOUT TO KILL ME IF I GOT UP AND TRIED TO RUN INTO THE OTHER ROOM. OUT OF FEAR I SHUT MY EYES AND I HEARD JESUS SAY,"KEEP READING - DON'T STOP". I JUST KNEW HE WAS STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, I COULD EVEN SEE A WHITE FIGURE THAT WAS GLOWING BUT HE DIDN’T LET ME LOOK UP. MY EYES WERE GLUED TO THE VERSES OF PSALM 23 AND AS I CONTINUED TO READ I COULD HEAR THE SCRATCHING AND SNARLING SOUND AT THE WINDOW GETTING FARTHER AND FARTHER AWAY AND A PEACE COMING INTO ME FROM THE FIGURE STANDING IN FRONT OF ME. I KNOW THIS ALL SOUNDS WEIRD BUT EVERYTHING HAS UP UNTIL NOW AND TRUST ME, IT WAS THEN TOO!!

AS I CONTINUED READING I COULD SEE THIS GLOWING FIGURE WALKING CLOSER TO ME. AGAIN, I COULDN’T LOOK UP, MY EYES WERE GLUED TO THE PAGES WHILE I WAS FINISHING READING THE 23RD PSALM. HE WAS THERE, I COULD SEE HIS FORM IN FRONT OF ME BUT HE WOULDN’T LET ME LOOK UP. I COULD FEEL THE EVIL PRESENCE BEING DRIVEN FARTHER AND FARTHER AWAY FROM THE WINDOW ABOVE ME. JESUS WAS DOING BATTLE 'OVER AND THREW' ME AT THE SAME TIME. ONCE AGAIN I WAS IN SHOCK AND COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT HAD JUST HAPPENED. THERE I WAS - ON THE COUCH - I COULDN'T MOVE, SO I JUST CLOSED MY EYES TO TRY AND GET A GRIP ON ALL THAT HAD JUST HAPPENED UP UNTIL THEN. IT WAS LIKE A MOVIE TAKING PLACE ALL AROUND ME BUT NOT OF THIS WORLD. AS I CLOSED MY EYES I SAW A VISION OF A HAMMER AND ANVIL STAMPING OUT, " JOHN IV " ON A LARGE STONE. I OPENED MY BIBLE TO THE FRONT INDEX AND BEGAN LOOKING TO SEE IF THERE WAS A JOHN IV. THERE WAS ONLY ONE! JUST LIKE I SAW IT IN MY VISION, THERE IT WAS IN THE INDEX. I FOUND JOHN IV AND BEGAN TO READ: 'THE STORY OF THE LADY AT THE WELL'. I COULD NOT BELIEVE WHAT I WAS READING, IT WAS MY LIFE, RIGHT THERE ON THE PAGES OF THE BIBLE, IN BLACK AND WHITE. THIS WASN’T JUST ANOTHER STORY IN THE BIBLE, IT WAS ABOUT ME! THE LORD WAS SHOWING ME HOW HE HAD ALWAYS BEEN THERE THROUGH ALL OF THE FAILURES AND HEARTACHES I WENT THROUGH LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES. JESUS WAS SHOWING ME, JUST LIKE HE DID "THE WOMAN AT THE WELL", THAT IF I CONTINUED TO DRINK FROM THE WELL OF THIS WORLD THAT I WOULD NEVER BE SATISFIED. HE WAS SHOWING ME THAT "HE" WAS ALL I NEEDED! YOU KNOW THE REST OF THE STORY, HOW JESUS ASKED THE WOMAN TO:"GO AND FETCH THY HUSBAND", SHE SAID; "I HAVE NO HUSBAND". JESUS SAID, "FOR TRULY YOU HAVE SPOKEN, YOU HAVE NO HUSBAND, FOR YOU HAVE BEEN MARRIED 5 TIMES AND YOU ARE NOW LIVING WITH A MAN WHO IS NOT YOUR HUSBAND!!"YOU SEE, I AM THE MODERN DAY WOMAN AT THE WELL. I HAD BEEN MARRIED 5 TIMES AND WAS LIVING WITH A MAN THE VERY NIGHT GOD CALLED ME TO HIM WHEN HE WOKE ME UP AT 1:11AM - FOUR NIGHTS IN A ROW. I PROMISED GOD THAT I WOULD DRINK OF HIS LIVING WATER AND NEVER EVER FORGOT HOW HE CALLED ME OUT EVEN WHILE I WAS YET IN SIN.

JUST TO LET YOU KNOW, THE SCRATCHES ON THE SCREENS WERE REAL. THE NEXT MORNING THERE WERE DEEP CLAW LIKE TEARS IN THE THE SCREEN JUST ABOVE WHERE I SAT ON THE COUCH. MY LIFE HAS NEVER BEEN THE SAME, AND IT WASN'T BECAUSE I WAS SCARED INTO BELIEVING IN GOD. HE KNEW I WASN'T HAPPY WITH MY LIFE AND THAT I NEEDED SOMETHING WORTH LIVING FOR. I BEGAN TO GIVE GOD MY ALL AND NOT LOOK BACK, AND I PUT ALL MY PAST FAILURES UNDER THE BLOOD AND TRUST GOD WITH EVERYTHING.

MANY ARE CALLED, BUT FEW ARE CHOSEN, AND I KNEW THAT HE HAD CHOSEN ME TO BE A WARRIOR FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD. THIS WASN'T A SWEET LITTLE PRAYER TO COME TO JESUS - THIS WAS WARFARE THAT TOOK PLACE. I KNEW THAT THERE WASN’T ANYONE LIKE JESUS THAT WOULD CARE ABOUT ME AS MUCH AS I NEEDED TO BE LOVED AND CARED FOR. I MADE JESUS MY HUSBAND, MY BEST FRIEND, MY LOVER, MY EVERYTHING! I HAD A PEACE IN MY HEART THAT IF I WAS TO EVER HAVE MY HEARTS DESIRE, IT WOULD BE ON GOD’S TIME AND TERMS, NOT MINE! ONCE I HAD GIVEN MYSELF AND MY HEART COMPLETELY TO HIM, HE GAVE ME MY HEARTS DESIRE. I HAVE BEEN MARRIED TO THE MAN GOD CHOSE FOR ME FOR GOING ON 13 YEARS NOW. THAT IS ANOTHER STORY WE CAN TALK ABOUT SOME OTHER TIME! I AM STILL GOING INTO THE CITIES, TELLING ALL THOSE WHO WILL LISTEN TO ME ABOUT A MAN WHO TOLD ME ALL THE THINGS THAT EVER I DID!!!!!!!! JOHN IV–"THE WOMAN AT THE WELL".

IF YOU CAN GET GLORY OUT OF WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH THEN USE ME LORD. GOD HAS PUT WITHIN ME A MINISTRY FOR WOMAN. A MINISTRY THAT HELPS WOMAN TO STOP LOOKING BACK AT THE WRONG CHOICES THEY HAVE MADE - AND BEGIN TO LOOK AT THEIR FUTURE AND TO LEARN TO WALK IN A "LOVE" RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS. TO BE ABLE TO BE SET FREE EVERY TIME THEY SHARE THEIR STORY WITH SOMEONE ELSE WHO HAS BEEN BEATEN DOWN BY THE STORMS OF LIFE.

I WANT MY TESTIMONY TO HELP WOMEN BE DELIVERED FROM SATAN’S LIES THAT THEY ARE WORTHLESS, AND TEACH THEM TO LOVE JESUS MORE THAN ANYTHING OR ANYONE. I KNOW WHAT A FAILURE I FELT LIKE AND I ALMOST DIDN’T MAKE IT THROUGH THOSE YEARS. I CAN ONLY IMAGINE WHAT THE WOMAN AT THE WELL FELT LIKE BEFORE JESUS PASSED BY THE WELL TO MEET WITH HER. I KNOW GOD WANTS ALL OF US TO USE OUR HURTS AND PAINS TO HELP OTHERS MAKE IT OUT AND BE SET FREE. I AM FREE AND I KNOW WHO I AM IN CHRIST AND WILL CONTINUE TO GROW STRONGER EVERY DAY UNTIL HE CALLS ME HOME. IT HELPED ME TO KNOW THAT JESUS ALREADY KNEW ME EVEN BEFORE I KNEW HIM. HE LOVED ME JUST LIKE I WAS.

I AM NOW MARRIED TO MY LAST HUSBAND, THAT’S BECAUSE THE LORD TOLD ME THAT HE WOULD BE MY HUSBAND FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. HE WAS PREPARING FOR ME THE MAN HE WANTED ME TO HAVE. GOD DID A MUCH BETTER JOB AT FINDING ME A HUSBAND THAN I EVER DID. I WASN'T GOING TO GIVE UP ON MY DREAM OF BECOMING HAPPY IN THIS LIFETIME; THE HARDEST LESSON FOR ME TO LEARN WAS TO TRUST GOD WITH EVERYTHING, WITH ALL OF MY HEART, MIND AND SOUL AND ALL MY DREAMS.

KEEP HIM FIRST AND HE WILL GIVE YOU YOUR HEARTS DESIRES. MOST OF ALL - NEVER STOP HAVING A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS EVEN WHEN HE DOES GIVE YOU YOUR HEARTS DESIRE!!! TO GOD BE THE GLORY FOREVER AND EVER. AMEN.

CAROL.
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO ME OR HAVE ME PRAY FOR YOU OR WITH YOU, PLEASE EMAIL OR CALL ME AT: MINISTRYOFMENTORING@KC.RR.COM

"EMPTY NEST" - a poem by Carol

This is a poem that the Lord gave me one evening several years ago when I was thinking back about how fast my children have grown up. It just went by so fast. Maybe you are facing your children about to leave home or maybe you will relate somehow to the words I have written. Enjoy!


"EMPTY NEST"

Why is it so hard to say good-bye,
To the ones we thought needed us when they would cry?

Is this the real meaning of what 'growing pains' are about,
When they pack their bags for the final time and move out?

It's the empty room and the stuffed animals left on the bed.
The colored hair bows, dolls and teen magazines left un-read.

We leave the room un-touched, praying for their return,
But it's just one of those 'life's lessons" that I have to learn.

Letting go so your child can grow is what my Mom had to do.
But I was to busy spreading my wings to know what she was going through.

"What goes around - comes around", so they say,
But how could anyone have warned me about that day!

So now the grandbabies have come along,
And they won't understand someday when MiMi is gone.

Except that I loved them with all of my heart,
Like I loved their mother - but we too had to part.

It's the "CIRCLE OF LIFE", just like all the rest.
Someday they too will know the pain - of the 'EMPTY NEST'.